original homemade biscuits by the one the only the spectacular veggie daughter (not the blog but the inspiration)

sup it's me veggie daughter from tv? maybe in the future.

just got asked to do a guest post bc my homemade oreos made everyone CRAZY 


without further ado

(ALSO YEAH THE INGREDIENTS ARE IN CUPS OKAY IT'S EASIER I'M AMERICAN AT HEART WHAT CAN I SAY)


homemade le milieu avant tout biscuits
 by smittenkitchen by the veggie daughter

biscuits:

 1 ¼ cups of self raising flour

(alternatively: all purpose flour + 1 tsp baking soda + ¼ tsp baking powder 

this is from smittenkitchen's recipe but the above is from mine and was better received so... how bout those apples im coming for your crown)

½ cup cocoa powder

1 cup of sugar 

(smitten will tell you you need more SMITTEN IS A DAMN LIAR and i'm not so american that i would need excessive amounts of sugar okay no shade all tea ❤❤❤)

½ cup + 2 tablespoons salted butter

(smitten calls for unsalted butter and adding ¼ teaspoon of salt separately.... veggie daughter claps back WHO 👏 HAS 👏 THE 👏 TIME)

1 egg

1. preheat your oven to 180°C/375°F/gas mark 5  (i just googled that for the 3 people in the world who still use gas mark ovens YOU'RE WELCOME next time google it yourself ya lazy!) unless it's the hottest summer in the entire history of the world and you have no aircon 'cause you're english in which case just do it at the end (i won't tell if you won't tell)
2. mix the dry ingredients in your food processor bowl (if i need to tell you which the dry ingredients are.... just lick all the ingredients and if your tongue is wet then that's not a dry ingredient. wait your tongue is already wet. i'm out of ideas. it's the flour, cocoa, sugar and salt. the grainy ingredients. also the baking soda and powder if you're IGNORING ME IN FAVOUR OF SMITTEN IN WHICH CASE... go look at her recipe. go on. betray me.) no food processor? no oreos. tragic. or like, use a spoon. like the victorians/tudors/ancient egyptians would have if the tesco down the road was out of oreos. #historyfact
3. add the butter and the egg and mix. SLOWLY. or pulse it if you have a schmancy food processor - in which case just get your butler to make the oreos, fancypants.
4. arrange the biscuits on a baking tray. (what? how? is this your first time making biscuits? if so i'm honoured, wow, thanks. smitten says to use a piping bag but like. it's solid? so.) you do this by taking a spoon or your hands (your hands) and shaping the biscuits into small balls and placing them a distance apart on a greased/parchment papered tray and then squash em down with your hand. try to make them the same size. or don't, i'm not your boss. or am i?
5. put them in the oven until cooked. (hey veggie daughter, you're saying. how long? how do i know when they're cooked? please veggie daughter i've never cooked before and i am so so hungry. i laugh. it sounds like faraway bells. how long is a piece of string, child? i ask. smitten says 9 minutes. i shake my head and smile. my smile is older and wiser than my years. i fade away into the light. you're just so confused right now.) they will be very soft when they're ready! when you can smell them, about 10-12 minutes? although that is on our terrible oven. turn them around in the middle if you like. also you can always take them out and realise they're not cooked and just... shove them back in the oven again. once again, i won't tell if you don't. 
6. leave them to cool on cooling racks or on the trays while making the icing. (how do i make the icing veggie daughter? i hear you cry. CALM DOWN I'M GETTING TO IT you hear me cry. we're both crying. depression is in this year.)

author's note: i just went downstairs to get a picture of one of the 40 homemade oreos i literally made like, yesterday. AND CARNIVORE DAD ATE THEM ALL. really queen? that's how we're playing it? okay... 👀👀👀 🐸☕️ i mean at least it's a glowing endorsement.i guess. i'd rather have an oreo than a glowing endorsement for one that's been eaten though >:^(

icing:

⅓ cup butter (another difference: smitten will tell you to use half unsalted butter and half shortening. i ask you. WHO HAS. THE TIME. i just used salted butter... tastes good to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

some vanilla extract (stop crying use however much you want damn... no more handholding!!!)

1½ cup icing sugar

(smitten recommends the proportions like ½ cup, 2 cups. yeah, if you want a tub of leftover icing in your fridge. which isn't the worst thing in the world. mmmm. but in all seriousness you don't need that much icing, it's very sweet)

1. mix the butter and vanilla extract
2. mix in the icing sugar. SLOWLY. (however slowly you do it there's going to be icing sugar everywhere. sometimes that's just how life is. no sense crying over a sugarsplosion.)
3. ice the biscuits. (real bakers would wait until the biscuits were cool to do this. however if you have a problem with GANNETS shaped like your MOTHER and your BROTHER in your kitchen, ice them straight away, because otherwise they'll complain and eat the dry biscuits and honey, your reputation doesn't deserve that. these biscuits are perfect.)(smitten will also tell you to assemble them so the icing is in the middle, like some sort of chocolate sandwich biscuit with vanilla icing in the middle. honestly, i wouldn't bother. might as well just... not. they taste good enough on their own and last twice as long 'cause there's twice as many. in theory. also if you're not a heathen you separate biscuits into halves before eating them. so. what's the point of putting the halves together in the first place? that's the real question, nabisco.)
4. eat the biscuits. (or don't. but they will be gone in less than 24 hours so work quick)

Cranberry and red onion chutney

This was an experiment. I'm not a huge fan of cranberry sauce, and thought a chutney might be a nice alternative on the Christmas lunch table. It proved very popular with cheffy son, who devoured nearly a jar of it with most of the cheddar from the fridge. It also did go really well with the roast turkey on Christmas day, and with the Boxing Day turkey and mayo sandwiches too.

25g butter 

1 tsp ground mixed spice

350g red onions 

300g cranberries 

410g dark brown sugar 

250ml  malt vinegar 

50ml balsamic vinegar 

75 ml apple cider vinegar 

1 tsp sea salt 

Gently sauté the onions in the butter with the mixed spice until soft.

Add the rest of the ingredients and bring to the boil.

Simmer until thickened, about one hour.

Pour into sterilised jars and seal.

Canapé toast cups

 

8 slices medium sliced white bread

Olive oil

Preheat oven to 180 c.

Cut the crusts off the bread, then roll them flat with a rolling pin.

Use a fluted round pastry cutter to cut out circles.

Brush each side of the bread with olive oil and press into mini cup baking tray.

If you don't have one, you can just bake them flat, but then obviously they don't form cups, just little flat platforms!

Bake for about 12 minutes or until golden brown. They should be crisp when cool. If not, give them another couple of minutes back in the oven to crisp up.

Leave to cool completely then fill with your chosen filling.

Here pea puree, which we topped with Serrano ham, but forgot to photograph.

Linseneintopf

Warming, tasty one pot thick lentil and bacon soup that we first tasted in mountain restaurants in Austria. You can vary the veg according to what you have hanging around. 

200g green or brown lentils 

1 litre chicken stock 

200g bacon, chopped 

1 small onion 

1 leek

1 red or yellow pepper 

1 red chilli 

1 large carrot 

1 large sweet potato 

2 parsnips 

2 medium potatoes 

2 cloves garlic 

1 courgette 

2 sticks celery 

1 heaped tablespoon toenjang (Korean soybean paste)

1 tbsp tomato puree

1 tsp dried oregano 

1/2 tsp smoked paprika 

3 sun dried tomatoes in oil

2 bayleaves

1/2 tin tomatoes 

Dash of truffle oil 

Pour boiling water over the lentils and leave to soak for an hour. Chop the bacon, fry it gently with some oil from the jar of sundried tomatoes. Chop all the vegetables. Toss the onion, leeks, celery, Chili, courgette, oregano and pepper in with the bacon and cook for 3 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients and bring to the boil. Close the pressure cooker, bring to pressure and cook for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and let it come down from pressure slowly. Serve with crusty bread and butter.

Roast pork Thai style Mu Deng

Marinade:

1 pork loin about 1kg

1/2 tbsp fish sauce 

1 tbsp soy sauce 

2 tbsp hoisin sauce 

1 tbsp mirin 

1 tbsp cooking sherry ( I used sloe whisky)

2 tsp sugar

1 tbsp grated ginger 

3 cloves garlic crushed 

1/2 tsp five spice powder

3 star anise crushed

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 hard boiled egg

1 tbsp cornflour 

Put all the marinade ingredients in a large ziplock.

Put the pork loin into the bag, cutting it in half if necessary to fit it in.

Shake the bag around to coat the meat, then leave it to marinate for at least 2 hours or overnight.

Take the meat out of the marinade and put on a baking sheet on foil. Preheat the oven to very hot, 230 degrees. 

Roast for 10 minutes, en reduce the heat to 180 degrees. Baste the meat with the marinade, then roast for a further 40 to 45 minutes turning and basting occasionally until cooked through.

Leave to stand for 15 minutes while you make the sauce , then carve into slices.

For the sauce, put the reserved marinade in a small saucepan with the hard boiled egg. Bring it to the boil, then take out the egg once it has boiled. Mix 1 tbsp cornflour with some water to make a paste, then top up to 2 cups. Stir the flour water into the sauce and heat until thickened.

Slice the egg, and serve with the pork, some rice and shredded spring onions and cucumber with the sauce.

Kedgeree

This used to be a favourite, making frequent appearances on the family menu. However, we must have overdone it, as the mere suggestion of it suddenly produced wrinkled noses and shaking heads. Anyway, we thought it was time to give it another chance and, hey, it was really tasty! And quick and easy. You can get loads of different flavours of smoked mackerel now. Today I used sweet chilli flavour,which was very tasty and moreish with a surprising kick.

For 2: 

250g smoked mackerel, flaked and checked for bones

2 hardboiled eggs, chopped 

1 onion or 2 shallots, finely chopped 

175g basmati rice

1/2 tsp ground turmeric 

1 small courgette, finely chopped 

Olive oil

50g butter

Small bowl frozen garden peas

1. Fry the onion/shallots and courgette in olive oil in a large frying pan until caramelised 

2. Boil the rice with the turmeric for about 15 minutes, until cooked, adding the peas halfway through.

3. Over a low heat toss the fish and eggs into the onion and courgette mixture with the butter until warmed through. 

4. Toss in the drained rice and peas and mix well. Check seasoning; usually the fish is pretty salty so don't add any until you've tasted it. Add a grind or two of black pepper.

5. Serve immediately.

Chestnut Soup

Foraging has become a bit trendy recently, but we've always liked getting something for nothing, so we headed out to a local wood for a stroll and chestnut gathering opportunity. There were loads, and in the end, with two full big bags, we had to force ourselves  to stop looking down at the ground trying to spot yet more candidates, bigger and glossier than the ones already in our bags.

Back home, we headed to the Internet to find out how to deal with the mountain of shiny brown nuts.

First attempt involved laboriously and hazardously cutting an x into each nut before roasting them in the oven for half an hour and attempting to peel them whilst still warm. I left the other half to it, and a couple of hours and a couple of bleeding fingers later about a third of the chestnuts were cooked and peeled. There had to be an easier way.

Back to the land of YouTube we went, this time appending our search with 'easy way'. Bingo! Cut the nuts in half, bung a handful of nut halves in the microwave for 12 seconds, remove from the microwave and ease the skins off with some pliers whilst the nuts are still warm. Repeat until done. Then roast the nuts in the oven at 180c for about 15 minutes, but keep an eye on them as you don't want them to dry out or burn. 

Next question, what to do with the stockpile of foraged goodness. We made this soup. It was delicious; rich and creamy and full of flavour. I'm not sure I'd have guessed that chestnuts were in it, but this recipe is definitely a keeper.

2 onions, chopped (I might try leeks next time)

3 sticks celery, roughly chopped 

1 clove garlic, peeled and chopped 

2 large carrots, peeled and chopped 

A couple of sprigs of thyme 

A bayleaf

About 75g cooking bacon, diced

500g peeled cooked chestnuts 

1.5 litres gammon or chicken stock (I used half of each because that's what I had in the freezer)

For the croutons:

75g stale white bread, cubed

1 tbsp cooking bacon, finely chopped 

Small clove garlic crushed 

Glug olive oil

Fresh thyme leaves, about half a teaspoon or a couple of sprigs worth.

Sauté the onion, bacon, celery, and garlic in olive oil until slightly softened.

Add the rest of the ingredients and bring to the boil.

Simmer for about 40 minutes until everything is soft.

While it's simmering, make the croutons by frying the bacon in the olive oil for a couple of minutes, before adding the bread cubes and thyme. Fry the cubes until they are golden toasty and crispy, adding the garlic for the last minute to stop it from burning.

Remove the thyme and bayleaf from the soup and purée with a hand blender.

Scatter with the croutons and serve immediately.